Three tickets in two months....fueling Detroit's failing economy one ticket at a time. (My thoughts on my speeding addiction).

Dear Blogger,

I am ashamed to admit that this past week, on the day before my birthday, I got ANOTHER speeding ticket, and it is the third ticket I got in two months!

The first I got while in Santa Cruz at my cousin's fabulous graduaton weekend from UCSC. I was going just slightly over the speed limit, and without realizing it, cut off a cop. Strike one.

The second occurred in Okemos, Michigan two weeks ago, when I was driving over to my friend Nell's family's beautiful country home for a nice dinner, before I had to head over to my client site in Lansing. The cop appeared out of nowhere in a blue truck, and also said that I had passed him on the highway speeding. Not cute. Strike two.

And then this past Monday, only a day before my bday, I was pulled over by another cop who was hiding behind some trees on the 275N just next to Detroit Metro Airport. And this time, like the last ticket, I had a red rental car with out of state plates. Definitely a bullseye for highway patrol. Strike three.

I know my tickets will help balance these states' budgets and fuel the economy, especially in struggling Michigan.

But at the same time, I probably should reflect on the fact that I might have a speeding problem. Ok, I have a 'lead foot' as my mother says, who also emailed me when she heard about all this saying "Some people buy souveneirs when they visit places. You tend to pick up speeding tickets." But it is a dangerous addiction, a need for speed. And previously, I have probably gotten over 5 or 6 speeding tickets in my life, along with DOZENS of parking tickets, particularly at Stanford campus.

What does this say about my personality? I am very impatient, very true. I do feel entitled, maybe above the speeding restrictions? But I still get shot down every time. I must be also very stupid/forgetful with a short term memory. But where am I rushing to? Maybe its this fear that I'm missing out on something, but I'm going nowhere fast. I have always been like a Tazmanian devil, rushing rushing without taking time to smell the flowers. And I should enjoy driving, when its arguably the only time in my intense job where I cant be expected to be cranking on my laptop. But who knows. I think my hustling throughout life has been what's gotten me this far, but at the same time, is probably was has attributed to my sporadic (anxiety-related?) chest pains, and my tendency to stress the little things, which really aren't worth it. I remember 8 years ago my Freshman theology teacher said that for all my gifts, that I didnt take time to smell the roses and appreciate the beauty and joy of each moment, which he admonished could be a tragic flaw.

And its true. And just this month, my Aunt sent me this great bday card note.

"Celebrate Yourself Today"

Today, in the midst of your busy life, may you have at least one moment to sit back and relax--when you don't have to do anything or be anywhere in particular...

May you have a moment to reflect on the past year and all you've accomplished and to look forward to all that may be waiting for you in the year ahead...

But mostly, in that moment, may you realize here and now what a gift your life is--not just to you but to everyone who knows you."

Not just a typical Hallmark Card, because it really spoke to me. Maybe its cliche and I'm just a sap, but it really did speak to me. My life is a gift, and I put that gift in danger every time I decide to become a reckless driver. And I dont take enough time to just sit back, and just reflect, and appreciate how fortunate and blessed I've been, but also the fact, that I'm really small relative to a much greater being (society, God, etc.), so that I shouldn't take myself, my job, or God forbid, my client demands so seriously. Time will pass and life will go on regardless, and I might as well just enjoy it for what it is. Clearly I am hopeful and ambitious for the future, and expect good things to come next year and the years that follow because of my hard work, my drive, and passion to make a difference, but that I wont be able to realize all that if I dont maintain balance, health, and sanity.

Aging......

Dear Blogger,

Sorry its been so long since I've posted--I haven't been as disciplined as I intended to be, but I do happen to be inspired at the moment.

So I'm turning 23 tomorrow, but am now in National Reagan airport waiting for my flight to leave to Detroit/Lansing, where I'll be at the client site until Thursday. Therefore, I'll be ringing in the birthday in dear Sheraton Lansing, though hopefully have some good local Cantina fun with my McK teammates tomorrow evening. Anyway, in advance of being out of town, I had a few friends from McK, Stanford, and random Hill folks over to my pad for a nice Sunday afternoon kickback on my rooftop pool. Was a great turnout, a beautiful day, and GREAT people watching of the other owners/tenants in my bougie highrise. A lot of 'g-muppies with puppies' as I started calling them (gay middle-aged urban professionals with dogs). Anyway, good people.

But this slight tangent of a story is intended to introduce the subject of my bday. I dont really have a strong feeling about 23. I feel that 21 was clearly fab (esp spending in it NYC with my sigmas and Kory). And it was, well, 21, and I could finally legally gamble in casinos. And 22 was close enough to 21, and I spent it in Mexico, D.F. so was fine. Now 23 is really a grown up bday, my first in my 'adult life' where the world doesn't stop, and I could just chill on my day. Its always been in the summer so dont have to go to class, and quite honestly, could flake at an internship.

But as I sit in the airport, I am inspired on the topic of aging. Across from me sits this very beautiful young woman--pretty blond hair, very carefully dont make-up (even though its only 7 am), dressed all teenage trendy straight outta Forever 21.. She can't be more than 18. A very American girl look. She has US Weekly in one hand, but with her other she is holding her dad's arm. He's pretty old, at least 55. (I HOPE its her dad). But regardless, they are just sitting there, then her presumed mother steps. About 55 too, but looks like its been a rough 55 years. Sorry, dont wanna be mean, but she looks quite frumpy and haggard. Yet, at the same time, she is the splitting image of her daughter--same facial structure, same mannerisms, same look. Quite surreal bc I'm sure she looked just like her daughter--only 40 years ago.

It's just crazy to see such a severe example of how beauty is fleeting, or at least, dynamic/evolving. The conventional defining features of beauty dont last forever. Damn, and as I get older, scary to think about my turning into my mother. And the last time I saw her, I noticed she gets more gray hair, her skin gets more wrinkled, etc. I'm sure I will freak out when one day I look in the mirror, and it really hits me when I see an image of my mother staring back at me.

Anyway, until then, I will enjoy my babyface, and super youthful look of being mistaken for 15 years old, always getting carded (probably until I'm 40), and being confused for a college intern by the old frumpy executives at my client sites. But I should be careful in my judgment--after all, that can/will be me one day, God willing.

(P.S. Obama's birthday is today I think. Yay Leos! Roarrrrr! BTW, next time I'll have to write about Obama vs. dinosaur McCain in my next posting. But for now must go, plane taking off!!!)